It's a New Year, 2014!!! Hi All, It's been a while and again, mom says I need to update this:) In November I saw my oncologist. I have officially been moved to the every 6 months checkup with NO SCANS! I will still get a breast MRI annually but no more CT scans unless something strange shows up in my bloodwork. This is a double edged sword for me. On one hand, it's amazing that I've come this far over the past 5 years, I'm almost there. On the other hand, it's terrifying to think that there's nobody checking things at least a couple of times a year. The CT scans are to check your internal organs, to make sure there's no cancer spreading anywhere else in your body that needs to get kicked out. I suppose all cancer patients, that make it this far, go through this. It's just hard to know when it's alright to let go and stop worrying. I guess I'll never stop worrying, it's just my nature. I'll just try not to think about it...happy thoughts, happy thoughts! May 2014 will be my 5 year anniversary from the 2nd tumor battle and 6 years from the first. It's exciting and a blessing. I'm so thankful that God is taking care of me and my family. Will says he talks to God every night now. He tells me that God says we'll be alright and he's got our Angels in Heaven watching over us. (he names Grampy, Grampa Billi, & Bella...too cute!) I believe him, kids have such an open mind and can see and feel things our cynical minds can't. All I can say is I'm glad I have an Angel in my little boy to watch over me :) Love to ALL!! E

All Good Again!

Good news today...MRI was all clear, cancer marker is still low, blood counts are up, All Good! She even agreed to give me hormones!!! I've moved up to the every 6 month checkup from every 3 months too! 1 1/2 years until the 5 yr mark! Bring it on 40! Can't wait for 42!

It's been a while...

Hi all, it's been a while since I posted (according to my mom:)).

I had my checkup in December and all seems to be good. She says my blood levels are stable, no reason to believe anything is wrong.

The spot in my back is still bothering me, but I'm not ready to do an MRI to find out what it is. I am very claustrophobic in the MRI and must drug myself to oblivion to do it. I have a breast MRI scheduled in the summer, if it's still bothering me then, I will do the back at the same time. My chiropracter seems to think it's a muscle that is attached to one of my ribs and it just needs to be rehabbed.

I can't figure out what the heck I did. The only thing I can come up with is the rope swing, into the lake this summer. Thank you Mike Fox and my kids for dogging me into doing it! Those of you who know me, know I am not the most coordinated person. So, here's how it went: I screamed like a girl, let go with one hand, eyes closed the whole time and forgot to let go with my right. I slid down the rope until I hit the big knot on the end jerking my arm/shoulder and then let go. Oh, and then I hit the water on my side...it was like falling on the ground. It was fun...never do it again...glad I did it, but now I'm paying for it. Those of us over 30 know, or at least we should know, that we can't do this crap anymore! Ah, life lessons!

Talk to you next time I get a checkup!

Love,
E

Short documentary of my battle

Hi everyone... here is a short documentary about my battle with cancer that a friend of mine did for me.

www.4mycommunity.tv

Scroll down and you'll see a tab with a breast cancer ribbon and my name.

E

December 2010

Jason reminded me that this week is 3 yrs since my diagnosis, December 18th. What an insane ride it's been. Thankfully, I'm cancer free for my 2nd Christmas in a row!

I had surgery 2 weeks ago to have 2 more lumps removed from my right side. They were both benign, thank God. I also had my reconstruction fixed again. The left implant started to slip so I had stitches put in my pec muscle to hold it up. That was sore for a few weeks but I'm good now.

I'm looking forward to a Maine Christmas this year. It's been 5 years since we've had one. Between winter babies and cancer, I've been in Texas for the past 5 Christmases. I'm praying for a little snow since there isn't any right now, a white Christmas will make my holiday!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Love,
E

Bras for a Cause

I just wanted to tell everyone about the most amazing, fun and heartwarming fundraiser that I've been a part of yet. It's called Bras for a Cause. My co-worker and friend, Emily, started it last year because her mom & grandma had breast cancer. I joined the committee in August and we just had the event on October 20th. We got sponsors who decorated a bra and entered them into a live, runway auction. The bras were modeled by shirtless local firemen, who were pretty cute! They shook their stuff and we had an auctioneer going to town to sell these bras. One went for over $2,000! It was so much fun and I am so glad that I was a part of it. Right before the auction started, they played a video that was filmed weeks before of survivors and friends & family of breast cancer patients. I was one of them. It was very moving to see myself talking about it on a 20 ft tall screen. You can see pictures of the event at proofs.coburnphotography.com. Thanks everyone, it was the best fudnraiser ever, I can't wait until next year!

Another Scare 10/2010

So, here we go again. Another October, another scare. I went for my 3 month checkup and my oncologist felt a bump on my right side. She thought it was scar tissue or a wrinkle in my implant but she wanted me to see my plastic surgeon to be sure. So, I got in to see him that same afternoon and got the same reaction, "I think it's the implant or scar tissue". "I think" is not ok in my book anymore. He wanted to see me again in 6 weeks, so I said ok. That was Wednesday, by Monday, I had an ultrasound scheduled because it was driving me nuts wondering and worrying. The ultrasound showed no mass but she said U/S is only 40% accurate so I needed an MRI. Off we go to the imaging center for the MRI a week later. That is so fun, laying on your face with your boobs in a box with 2 holes cut out for an hour! So uncomfortable. I drug myself with Ativan (like Xanax but stronger) before I go since I'm claustrophobic. The next day the results were in, no signs of mailgnancy. Phew, dodged another bullet! SO VERY SICK OF OCTOBERS!
Love, E

All clear again

Hey everyone,

My scans and chekcup last week were all negative again. That means I made it a whole year past treatment without anything coming back; well, other than the benign scare in March.

My doctor even talked about us discussing long term monitoring on my next appointment, instead of every 3 months. I think I'll start going in every 6 months then on to a year.

I'm so happy thay my port is out, the scar tissue from the radiation was removed in May, and my scans were clear. I'm working out a lot and trying to eat right. I feel better than I have in 2 years. It's amazing!

I can only hope and pray that I'll be one of the lucky ones that makes it well past the 5 yr mark. I am still terrified that something will strike again within the next 3 yrs. I am also very mindful to check often and I always get my checkups.

Well, off to my 20th Reunion in Maine. We'll be with my family for 3 weeks. The boys are soooo excited. It will be nice to hang out at the beach and just be outside.

Love to everyone!
~Erica

I HATE Cancer!

Ok, so I go in for my 6 month mammogram and ultrasound yesterday. I get these every 6 months even though I supposedly have no breast tissue left, due to the recurrence I had. My doctor ordered the left one to be checked but the radiologist said, "what the heck, lets check the right one too since you're here."

So first swipe of the ultrasound thingy and a big blob shows up. I just about lept off the table. It looked exactly like the other two tumors. I immediately started tearing up thinking, "Oh my God, not again!" The radiologist didn't look happy either. She said "was that there before?" I said "no". She looked at the old films and sure enough, no it hadn't. I said "how big is it?" She measured and it is 7cm long. To put that in perspective, my other 2 were 2 cm. 3 times as big!

She was as nervous as I was. It's funny, these doctors all know me personally now. Even the surgical nurses at the hospital know me by name, pathetic really. Anyway, she went and checked the schedule for the afternoon to see if she could squeeze me in for a biopsy instead of make me wait until next week. Thankfully she could.

I went back at 1:30 and they got me right back. It was the usual, numb it and pull out 4-5 pieces of the tumor. She tried to aspirate it (suck out fluid) but there wasn't any, another bad sign. If there was fluid it was probably a cyst. So, I was sent on my way with a positive thought from the doctor, "you're due for some good luck, I hope it's negative." They said to call around 3pm today and they would hopefully have the results for me to bring to my oncologist tomorrow @ 10am.

Well, after all we've been through in 2 yrs, I was feeling quite the opposite. I have completely convinced myself that it's back. I've already called my surgeons and put them on alert that we'd be going back in next week and was determining what treatment I would be doing. Jason tried the "let's be positive, we don't know anything yet" routine but I said, "whatever, every time we say that it comes back Cancer!...No, it's back and here's what we'll do."

All afternoon after I left work I was having chest pains, pain in my left arm and felt like throwing up. I was having an anxiety attack. I have never felt like this before. Not even with the first two cancers. I couldn't wait any longer.

It was 3:15 so I decided to call. The nurse came on and said she had just received the path report. She read me the findings, "Benign fibrovasular adipose tissue". I said, "did you just say Benign?" She said "yes, it's not cancer". I literally started to hyperventilate and cry. Dear Lord, it's not Cancer! I would have just said thanks and hung up if she had said it was cancer because I was prepared for that. But NOT Cancer threw me for a loop. I called Jason and he did the same thing..."NOT cancer, benign?" and began to cry. Which wasn't nice of me since he was on the phone with a client...oops. Poor Will caught me right after I hung up with Jason and I was balling. He's yelling "mommy what's wrong, why are you crying?" I just told him "mommy's happy". He thinks I'm flippin' crazy when I cry because I'm happy, it's funny.

After I hung up I lost the urge to throw up and decided I needed to burn off some energy. I threw the kids in the car and went to the gym. After an hour I felt so much better and got really hungry. Jason called and wanted to go celebrate so we went to dinner with the kids.

So, I HATE Cancer. It never leaves. Just when I think I'm done with it and it doesn't enter my mind for a while, BAMM, it hits you upside the head again! It's never gone, never, never. Every ache, every pain, everything that goes wrong with my body, "is it cancer, is it back?" I try so hard not to think that way but it's days like these that bring it all back.

Love to all,
Erica

All Clear So Far

I had my scans and 6 month checkup on December 16th. Scans were negative, cancer marker went down again and I even got to come off of my anti-cancer medicine that was making me crazy. I'm typically a VERY laid back person and I was on "bitch" 24-7. I yelled at the kids all the time and was just always in a bad mood. The lack of sleep, water weight and other symptoms didn't help. She said it wasn't giving me much benefit to outweigh being miserable so, I could stop it. Should things change, I will go back on it.

Happy New Year!

Little scare

Well, I had a little scare this week. I found another lump in the same spot again! I had a mammogram and ultrasound done. The radiologist said she couldn't tell definitively what it was, so she wanted a breast MRI done. After 2 Ativans (like Xanax) I made it through the MRI, not a fun experience.

I saw my dorctor today and she said that it has dissapeared so they all believe that it was a lymph node that was imflamed and not cancer. The MRI did not show any signs of malignancy which is great.

Another 3 months before more scans. I am praying that they stay clean.

Take Care!
Love,
E

Maine Tri for a Cure 8/2009

I just wanted to say thanks to my friends in Maine for participating in the Tri for a Cure. My very close (practically sister) friend Nikki and another friend from childhood, Deanna Smalley Backman, did this race again this year to raise money for Breast Cancer research. These crazy women ran, biked and swam in the freezing cold ocean for this race. On behalf of all Breast Cancer survivors, thank you!

Love,
E

PET scan and Doctor follow-up

I had my 3 month PET scan (glorified CT scan) on Tuesday and saw my oncologist yesterday. She said there was no indication of any cancer cells on either my scan or my CA 127 blood test (cancer marker test). I believe the last time I had the CA 127, it was in the 20's, yesterday it was 11.7. That's great that it went down. They fluctuate and everyone has them. It's only a concern if they start to go up.

I have another follow-up in September and we'll determine then if I'm having more scans. Otherwise, the next scan will be in 6 months.

She told me to start taking the Estrogen blocker again which will cause bone & joint pain. I'll start to feel like I'm 80 again. She's worried that since I did have a slightly estrogen positive tumor the second time, that if we don't block it, it could come back again. I'll take it and add some glucosamine/chondrointin to my diet. Hopefully it will work.

She also said my other side effects should get better in time. Since the neropathy (tingling/numbness) in my fingers has stopped, that's a good sign that my feet/toes will stop eventually too. My hair is still falling out a little. She says this is post traumatic stress and it should subside in a few more months. I hope so or I'll be bald again! Actually, you'd never know it. Only I do since I know how thick my hair was and how thin it is now.

Oh well, moving forward and trying to live like it never happened. I'll be in Maine June 30th-July 20th. It will be nice to get out of this oppresive heat. It's over 100 here! Hopefully I can bring some warmth and sun to Maine!

Love,
E

A depressing moment

Hi everyone. Things have been going well. My burns are completely healed and I've been hanging out with the kids at the pool as well as getting back in the gym.

I went to Wal-Mart today. On my way out, I ran into the husband of one of my chemo friends. His name is Carl and his wife is Sheila, the lady that I helped calm down on her first day of chemo at the end of last year. He saw me and I said "do you remember me?" He said he did and hugged me. We talked for a bit and then he said, "you know I lost my wife in January, right?" I must have looked like an idot with my mouth on the floor because I said "no, I'm so sorry, I didn't". She had Stage 4 lung cancer, which I know is bad, but I really thought she'd beat it. He said "well, we lost the battle but at least we fought it." The ironic thing was, it wasn't the cancer that killed her. Well, indirectly it did. She got a blood clot in her leg as a side effect of the chemo. I was there with her one day when she was in tears because the blood clot hurt so bad. It broke loose and she had a stroke and died.

That was the last time I saw Sheila. I often wondered how she was doing since I hadn't seen her. I also wondered a few times if she had passed away. Being in the cancer ward is scary. People around you, people you've made friends with, die every day. The nurses aren't suppose to tell you how someone is doing but I could sneak bits of information out of them. One time I asked about someone that had passed away. They told me they had lost 7 patients that week. That was the last time I asked, it was too much to handle while I was hooked up to the poison that was potentially killing these people.

It's a cliche, but Sheila is in a better place. She was in a lot of pain and suffering pretty badly. I hope she's happy and watching her daughters grow into beautiful young ladies. She is missed.

Love,
E

Radiation finished!

I finished my last treatment today. Thankfully my burns are healing. They were really bad. My tech said they were the worst she's seen in a long time. I still have one burn that is open and it looks pretty yucky. The rest of it is peeling like a sunburn would only the skin is gray like ashes from a fire, it's gross. Everyone that sees it screws up their face and goes "oh my God!" Even the guy at the McDonalds drive through noticed it and asked how I got burned.

I go back for a checkup in June. I'm also due for my 3 month scans and a follow up with my oncologist and plastic surgeon.

I'll update again after I have those appointments. Hopefully any microscopic cells have been sufficiently fried and I won't have to deal with this again!

Love to All!!
Erica

Getting worse

So, things got worse over the weekend. They gave me a burn gel pad thing that sticks to your wound. Well, since one of my burns is in my armpit, it kept falling off. I took a gauze pad and some paper tape (not very sticky) and had Jason put the tape on the other side of my burn, or so I thought. The next morning when I took it off I also ripped off 3 sections of skin. I now have open flesh wounds that are nice and red. They hurt like hell too. Unfortunately, one of them is in the circle where I am still getting radiation so I'm sure it will be a mess by next Monday when I finish. I'm keeping the gel pads on and wrapping my body with that spongy gauze stuff that only sticks to itself. Maybe the doctor will give me some better medicine tomorrow, who knows. 6 more days, 6 more days!!!

I hope all of my mommies had a Happy Day! (just to clarify, I only have one mommy, I mean all my friends, relatives and my mom)

Love,
E

Another week down, 2 to go

Well, I opened my mouth to soon...not unfamiliar territory for those of you who REALLY know me:) The burns are getting pretty sore now. My collar bone is really red and cracking. The aloe and lotion aren't helping. The doc might give me a prescription cream tomorrow for it. My armpit looks like road rash, it hurts quite a bit too. It kept waking me up last night when I'd roll onto my left side. Will walked in on me getting dressed today and asked "mommy, what are the brown spots on your boobie?" I love it when he asks questions! What do you say to that. I told him it was my new medicine and he just went "oh, ok". It looks like age spots and a rash all over. Hopefully they'll peel off soon. I went to the gym after radiation this morning. It was pretty painfull doing back and bicep exercises. I pushed through it though.

Thankfully today was the last treatment on my collarbone and tomorrow is the last one on the armpit. Thursday starts my "boost" treatments directly over the tumor site. That will last until Monday the 18th, I think. I'll find out for sure tomorrow after I meet with the doctor.

Thanks for the posts!

Love,E

14 to go

Well, it's starting to catch up to me now. My left collar bone area is looking like a catchers mit. It's getting very brown and leathery looking, it itches too. My radiation tech said that it will also start to burn on my back directly behind the collar bone. It's like a bullet exit wound. Radiation has an exit there because it's so thin. My armpit is red too. It doesn't really bother me though.

Oh well, about 3 more weeks and hopefully I'll be done.

~E

13 down 21 to go

I've made it through 2 1/2 weeks pretty unscathed. My chest is starting to itch and get a little more tan. It's dry and scaly so they told me to use aloe and gave me some lotion samples. They have helped quite a bit. Monday I was scratching it so much that I broke it open and started to bleed a little. I thought it was a bug bite but when I went to radiation the next day they said it was from that and not a bite. It's no biggie, just kind of like excema.

I will update again next week after finishing 5 more.

Love,
E