I can't even believe that I am writing this right now. My surgeon called and there are cancer cells in the scar tissue that he removed yesterday. I am going in tomorrow morning to have more tissue removed. Then I see my oncologist Monday morning to go over whether I have chemo again, chemo & radiation or just radiation.
I am numb. I thought this was over for me. That I would be one of the lucky ones who does the surgery and chemo and lives to be 80. I'm not sure how to feel yet. I guess after I see my oncologist on Monday I'll feel something. Probably pissed off. I just really don't want to do chemo again. I will, I just don't want to.
Love,
A Very Sad Erica
Breast Cancer Survivor
"We cannot direct the wind but we can adjust the sails"
Family photo November 2008
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How it all began......
Welcome to my website! This site was created by my wonderful friend Angela to keep everyone I love updated on my “Journey” beating Breast Cancer.
I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer on December 19, 2007 @ 4:30 in the afternoon. It was quite possibly the worst phone call I’ve ever received. The doctors kept telling me that I was “too young”… it’s probably just a cyst or a fibroid (benign tumor). So, I had convinced myself of the same. Imagine my shock and fear when the doctor said “I hate to tell you this, but it IS cancer.”
I didn’t really know how to react. At first I cried a little. Then, I was ok. Then cried some more, then, ok. It wasn’t until I saw the surgeon and learned of the best option for survival, a double mastectomy, that I really broke down. I had a meltdown for a couple of days and then I was fine. I’ve been pretty good with it ever since. I know that I can beat this sneaky disease and I will live a long life with the loves of my life; my husband Jason, and my 2 boys, Will & Nathan.
Jason had a hard time at first. He just kept thinking the worst, that I wouldn’t make it. He’s doing much better now that we’ve seen all the doctors and the prognosis is good.
The kids don’t really understand. Will (who’s almost 4) thinks mommy is having an operation, that’s it. Nathan just turned 1 so he just wants to be held all the time. That will be the hardest thing on me. I love to hold my babies and I won’t be able to pick them up for awhile.
Thankfully, my mom, Kathy, has come to the rescue. She is here as long as we need her. I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful mother and family. My sister is coming from Alaska, pregnant and all, to help out too. My dad is coming back soon and Jason’s parents, Rick & Jan along with his whole extended family are just a phone call away if I need them. Unfortunately, my brother, Steve can’t come although he wants to. I even have my friends from Maine that want to come and help! Thank you Christina and Nikki for offering. My friends here, Angela, Oti, Julie & Niki are all on standby also. They’re ready at a moments notice for whatever we need. I love you all, I can’t say how good it makes me feel to be loved.
Everyone I know is praying for us which is so wonderful. I appreciate all the prayers. Only God knows what will happen but I’m confident that he will pull me through.
Anyway, I hope you log on to find out how we’re doing down here in Texas. My surgery is January 9th @ 7:30 a.m. I’ll be in the hospital for 2 nights.
I hope this site can help anyone else who gets this horrible disease, although I pray that none of you ever have to experience it.
Love to all!
Erica
I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer on December 19, 2007 @ 4:30 in the afternoon. It was quite possibly the worst phone call I’ve ever received. The doctors kept telling me that I was “too young”… it’s probably just a cyst or a fibroid (benign tumor). So, I had convinced myself of the same. Imagine my shock and fear when the doctor said “I hate to tell you this, but it IS cancer.”
I didn’t really know how to react. At first I cried a little. Then, I was ok. Then cried some more, then, ok. It wasn’t until I saw the surgeon and learned of the best option for survival, a double mastectomy, that I really broke down. I had a meltdown for a couple of days and then I was fine. I’ve been pretty good with it ever since. I know that I can beat this sneaky disease and I will live a long life with the loves of my life; my husband Jason, and my 2 boys, Will & Nathan.
Jason had a hard time at first. He just kept thinking the worst, that I wouldn’t make it. He’s doing much better now that we’ve seen all the doctors and the prognosis is good.
The kids don’t really understand. Will (who’s almost 4) thinks mommy is having an operation, that’s it. Nathan just turned 1 so he just wants to be held all the time. That will be the hardest thing on me. I love to hold my babies and I won’t be able to pick them up for awhile.
Thankfully, my mom, Kathy, has come to the rescue. She is here as long as we need her. I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful mother and family. My sister is coming from Alaska, pregnant and all, to help out too. My dad is coming back soon and Jason’s parents, Rick & Jan along with his whole extended family are just a phone call away if I need them. Unfortunately, my brother, Steve can’t come although he wants to. I even have my friends from Maine that want to come and help! Thank you Christina and Nikki for offering. My friends here, Angela, Oti, Julie & Niki are all on standby also. They’re ready at a moments notice for whatever we need. I love you all, I can’t say how good it makes me feel to be loved.
Everyone I know is praying for us which is so wonderful. I appreciate all the prayers. Only God knows what will happen but I’m confident that he will pull me through.
Anyway, I hope you log on to find out how we’re doing down here in Texas. My surgery is January 9th @ 7:30 a.m. I’ll be in the hospital for 2 nights.
I hope this site can help anyone else who gets this horrible disease, although I pray that none of you ever have to experience it.
Love to all!
Erica
4 comments:
Erica,
I just talked to Christina. I am at a loss for words..I am so sorry you have to go through this again!
I am thinking about you and of course praying for you. I am sending you lots and lots of hugs and positive thoughts. I'll talk to you soon, Love, Janice
I know it must be really hard to stay positive after everything you have gone through but you are a strong person and will fight this and win the battle. We are all here to hold you up when you need it and will continue to support you through all of this crap (I thought I would use a nice word instead of what I wanted to say). We all love you!!!!!! Christina
Erica...Jim and I are at a loss for words. Don't worry though as you beat it the first time around and you'll beat it this time! You are in our thoughts and prayers. Stay positive and keep us posted! Love Jenn, Jim and the boys
Don't even go and get negative right now. It was your positive energy that helped before, and it will help again. I am thinking of you and sending healthy wishes your way.
Hugs from Maine.
Katie
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