Happy Hannukah, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to Everyone!!!

2nd Chemo down

The weekend was ok. A little rough but not as bas as last time.

I had fluids and nausea meds on Friday, Saturday and Monday. I should have done them on Sunday too but I was trying to be tough and push through it.

I slept a lot. I was in bed just about all day Friday through Sunday. Thanks for mom! She took care of the kids, even played football with Will!

Today we went to the mall for a little bit because we all had cabin fever. I got "The elf on the shelf" for the boys. If you haven't seen this and you have kids, it's amazing! The elf sits somewhere in your house and watches over the kids and flys to the North Pole each night to report to Santa. The next day the kids have to find him, so you need to move it, because he went to the N. Pole. The only rule is they can't touch him. Now Will is a devious little thing. I figured for sure he'd touch it in 3 seconds. It was hillarious...he was sitting on the coffee table reciting his Santa wish list for him, Nathan, Mommy, Daddy, etc. Telling him "secrets" too. It's $30 at book stores, Hallmark, toy stores. You have to search for it, they sell out, Jason said he's been looking for it for 3 days.

Anyway, I'm feeling ok. Still tired and like I'm pregnant, which I'm not, but the morning sickness part sucks.

This week will be focused on finishing Christmas shopping and wrapping presents! Aghhhhhh, I can't believe it's almost here!

Love,
E

2nd Chemo

Today was good. I picked up mom @ 11 a.m. We met Angela for lunch at Chili's and then went back to the house for a few minutes.

Chemo went better today. I had the goofy drugs that make me funny and sleepy (you can probabaly tell by my typing). The nurse added my chemo in with a bag of fluid to make it go faster. Usually I have 1 bag of fluid, then the chemo, then another bag of fluid. We were done an hour earlier which was great. I took about an hour nap during the chemo and was raring to go.

Mom and I went to Wal-Mart, my home away from home, to pick up some things. She said I was wandering in a daze from the drugs and just so happy. Ha,ha...very funny.

When we got back, Jason was frying a turkey which turned out great. The kids came home from my in-laws around 7:30 and they were so excited to see Nonni. She has a play date with them to play football tomorrow.

I have fluids at 9:30 to help combat any nausea.

I'll update again later this weekend to tell you how it goes. On the positive side, no hair loss yet! I had already been bald for 2 weeks last time.

Love
E

2 weeks post Chemo 1: Dr. Visit

I saw my oncologist today. She said she'd change my nausea meds to see if that helped this next time. My blood counts are good so I'm not exhausted like last time.

We talked about clinical trials and nutrition and excercise as possible ways to combat another occurence. Thankfully, I don't have to become a vegetarian or give up sugar, I was starting to freak out over the sweets thing. She said that since I am triple negative that a no fat diet doesn't help me. Fats turn into estrogen and I'm not estrogen positive. She didn't give my the red carpet to McDonalds, but not the harsh yucky diet either. She said to eat healthfully and exercise. Apparently, I don't see how, exercise has shown to reduce the chances of recurrence. I think it's just the doctors using it to push me to exercise. Those of you who are closest to me know how much I HATE it. I will though, if it means it will help.

I'm still going to research the Chinese medicine herbal thing as a supplement after I'm done with treatment. I figure it can't hurt to drink some tea.

Chemo next Thursday, Dec 4th, again. My mom is flying in for 5-6 days. Hopefully it won't be as nauseating as last time but I'm not holding my breath. It wasn't too bad, I can take it.

I'll update again after Chemo. Happy Thanksgiving!!

Love,
E

Tuesday after Chemo 1

Well, today I finally felt as close to normal as possible. I just feel like I'm pregnant with mild morning sickness and I'm a little tired. This, I can deal with.

I spent the entire afternoon Christmas shopping since I only really have 3-4 weeks to shop since I'll have a down week from Chemo again on Dec. 4th. My sister is in Alaska, so, we have to ship presents early so they make it in time.

Will is very distraught that Grampy had to go home. He cried for 45minutes this evening when I picked him up from my friend Kristen's. He doesn't comprehend time yet so Christmas seems so far away, that's when Grampy will be back again. He's doing better tonight and he will over the next few days. It was nice having my dad here. We almost never spend any father/daughter time together. I miss him too.

Anyway, overall a good day. I'm tired but that will let me sleep well tonight.

Love,
Erica

Monday: Pretty Good Day

I woke up with a rockin' headache which told me that I was dehydrated. My stomach was queazy too. I decided to keep my appointment for fluids and nausea meds to be safe.

I went in and there was a lady, named Sheila, there for her first treatment. She was asking about what to expect and what it feels like so a few of us were telling her what to expect. She seemed ok while they did her fluids and her nausea meds but when they brought the chemo out she broke down and started to cry and pray to herself. She was there with her husband and her sister. I would guess they were in their 50's. I wispered to her sister and asked if it would be ok if I went to her and she said yes. I got up and dragged my chemo pole over to her and hugged her for a little bit and gave her some encouragement, that she would be fine, she could do it, and that I'm hear to help. I gave her my card with my cell # on it and told her to call if she needed me. They thanked me so much for being an inspriation to her today. I'm going to make her some bandanas for when her hair falls out. Anyway, I felt good about being able to help her today so I thought I'd share with everyone.

Then I came home for a nap, which was good because it's 8:00 and I still feel good right now. The priest from our church called while I was resting. I had been trying to get in touch with him but our schedules were overlapping. I needed some guidance in my faith in God and how to pray and overall what to do. I met with Father Richard at about 2:45. We talked for an about an hour. I'm really glad I did go. I was a little bit scared at first but it was a very nice meeting. He helped me beleive that God is always with me no matter if I can hear him or not. That he does hear my prayers and to keep talking to him. He also told me not to think about dieing right now, to live my life and take care of my family. That helped a lot. We did my confession, which was nothing like the scary confessional from childhood, and he forgave me for my sins. I am very happy to be part of the church again. I truly feel that it was a major part of me that has been missing over the past 10 years.
He also told me that they added me to the prayer list for the parishioners with illnesses which is great. The more prayers the better.

Thanks for keeping up with me!

Love,
Erica

Not so great afterall

Well, my big mouth got me in trouble. I spoke too soon. Saturday was a little crappy.

I ended up in the ER because my doctors office and the visiting nurses got messed up. So, no fluids came to my house and I was getting a migraine from dehydration and more and more nauseated. My dad and I went to the hospital and they gave me fluids and Phenergan (nausea med) which knocked my ass out. I went to bed @ 6 and didn't get up until 9:30 this morning.

It was good though, I woke up feeling ok and not nauseated like yesterday. The nurse brought me fluids today and I feel pretty good.

We had a family picture done today at our house. We'll see how those turn out! Hopefully my face isn't too white or green! The kids were really great, I was very surprised that Nathan didn't cry.

Love,
Erica

*(Chip, post me your email address)

Still OK

Another ok day. I had fluids this morning and then went out to lunch and grocery shopping. Then I cleaned the kitchen and caught up on a bunch of TIVO'd stuff.

Dad took the kids to the park this morning while I had my fluids. Then,when Nathan went down for a nap, he took Will to the driving range. They're having a blast.

I ate a good dinner too thanks to my friends Julie & Jeff and Raquel & Lonnie. Both dropped off dinner for us tonight which was awesome. My friends here have meals organized for many days, thank you!

I feel pretty good unless I'm up and moving. Then I get a little nauseated. I've done well with my water and gatorade though. That keeps me hydrated so the nausea is at a minimum.

Hopefully they'll be wrong and it won't kick in over the weekend. We'll see. I'll update in a few days.

Love,
Erica

1st New Chemo Cisplatin

Well, my doctor filled me in on all the bad shit that can happen on this drug but it's worth it since it has seen the most advancement in treating my type of breast cancer. It's not even endorsed yet but my doctors don't want to wait for the "official" endorsement in 5 years and then say "wish we did it when we thought we should have". I agree.

The bad shit is extreme dehydration that leads to bad nausea and vomitting. This is "old style" chemo that makes you really sick. Ironically, I finished my first round and went out for Mexican food because I felt so good. They said go eat now because it will catch up to you in a few days. So I hope the Mexican food won't haunt me and come up tonight! It can also cause ringing in the ears and numbness in the fingers and toes. They're usually temporary until the chemo is finished. I had a few residual side effects after my first chemo too but they went away.

I'm pretty hopeful that with this chemo and radiation that things will be all good again in booby land.

My Ocologist wants me to see the surgeon that she would go to if she got breast cancer for a 3rd unbiased opinion. I'll see him in a few weeks. I need to make up my mind on whether I'm going to remove more lymph nodes for testing even though all my scans are clear or chance it. My scans were clear before too because they can't detect individual cancer cells, only tumors about 1cm in size. That seems tiny but in cancer world it is large. 4 cm is HUGE. Mine were 1.8 and 1.

Anyway, Just thought I'd update now while I felt good in case I'm hugging the porcelein God for the next few days.

Love,
Erica

Bad weekend

Sorry I haven't written. I've had a bad few days.

I saw a new Dr. on Friday that basically wanted to re-do all of my surgery, take out my chest muscle, all my lymph nodes and all of my skin on the left side "just in case". She then went on to tell me that my situation was very bad and had me 1 foot in the grave. We left there feeling that she was a bit excessive so I called my doctors who assured me that it wasn't necessary to do all that if my scans were negative which 2 of the 3 have been. I had the third today and I won't know for a week or so on that one.

I cried quite a bit that night and over the weekend but I was feeling better knowing that we were seeing a new oncologist on Monday and I was sure that she would be positive and tell me what I wanted to hear. Wrong again. She was very very nice and very informative but she said the same things. "This shouldn't have happened, it came back too fast, we almost never see this". When I asked her what my chance of this happening again was she said 50/50. That sounded so horrible to me. She said that there's a 50% chance that the chemo & Radiation WILL take care of it and it will never come back. But, there's a 50% chance that it will come back and if it does it will be within a year just like this one and it will probably spread this time. So Jason then asks her "so is this the beginning of the end?" And she was very emphatic in saying no but I should get my "affairs" in order to take the stress off my mind!

Then I got home from this doctor and my doctor was leaving me a message to call her, which never happens. I got her on the phone and she proceeded to tell me that this cancer is "tougher" than the first one. That this one is now what they call triple-negative. It is not responsive to Estrogen, Progesterone or HER2 (hormone). It is more aggressive than E/P HER2 positive tumors and they don't have an after treatment like Tamoxifen (pill you take for 5 yrs) for triple neg cancers. The good thing is that they are more receptive to chemo so hopefully that will work in my favor this time. She also said she is changing my chemo to a much harder one since it is triple-neg now. So, I will lose my hair again and the nausea is worse with this one.

Needless to say, I have been a crying mess for 5 days now. I can't help thinking that my kids are going to watch their mommy die in a hospice bed in our house. I know that's horrible but after those visits to the new doctors, that's how I took it. The other thing that was bothering me was thinking about being in Heaven and watching over my family. I know I would be their angel but, I am afraid of watching someone else living MY life with MY husband and MY kids. Every time I hear Nathan or Will calling "mommy" I lose it and think about them calling for me if I'm not here anymore. Nathan won't understand and will still be looking for me. I worry that it will tear Jason apart.

I finally decided this evening that I'm done with the crying and I have to move on. I can't dwell on "what-if". I need to live in the now and fight back with all I have. If my third scan comes back negative I have to think it's just a fluke and it will be taken care of this time with the radiation and it won't be back.

I'm sorry for making all of you cry right now. Everyone says they can't understand what I'm thinking so I wrote it down.

*On a funny note, I had the "Mommys sick and might not always be here" talk with Will yesterday. He then went out with my friend Julie and told her "mommy's boobie is gonna die". I guess he's not ready for that yet!

Thanks for the support again!

Love,
Erica

Yippee, More Chemo & Radiation Too!

Ok, so I had the new tumor taken out Friday. It was 1cm. My original one was 2 cm. This one had only been growing for 5 months which is scary. It is very aggressive and rapidly multiplying. Since it is a recurrence of my old tumor, there is no staging. The freaky part is that there is only a 1% chance of this happening, and it did!

I was a little concerned when my doctor came in and looked flustered. She was not happy about this. She did say that it's not hopeless and that I can still beat it. I asked if she'd seen this before and she said yes, twice. Not very good, I know. I then asked how they were doing. She said very well and in remission.

I will now undergo a new regimen of chemo and this time radiation. They typically don't radiate mastectomy patients that had negative lymph nodes because all the tissue is removed. This time it is necessary because the chemo didn't work in the breast. She said it did it's job elsewhere by not allowing it to spread though.

This chemo is Gemzar & Carboplatin. It is every 21 days like before but it's suppose to be a little easier on the patient. Less naseau and other side effects. I might even keep my hair. She said it tends to thin but not fall out completely so no shaving my head this time!

After 6 rounds of that, I finish in February (I think), I will start radiation. I haven't seen the radiation ocologist yet so I don't know all the details there. I only know that it will mess up my perfect boob! It makes the skin shrink. I'm talking with the boob Doc Wednesday about that. I'm kidding, so what, if it means I'm alive. You won't see it under clothes.

Anyway, my spirits are up. I'm not freaking out, just pissed off that I have to do this again and I can't come home for Christmas. I guess it's a small price to pay so that we can have many more Christmases to come.

Love,
Erica

*My surgeon called at 4:30 today (after my post above) to tell me that my second surgery came back clean, no cancer in my chest muscle. That's a little bit of relief for an otherwise crappy day!

It's Baaaack!

I can't even believe that I am writing this right now. My surgeon called and there are cancer cells in the scar tissue that he removed yesterday. I am going in tomorrow morning to have more tissue removed. Then I see my oncologist Monday morning to go over whether I have chemo again, chemo & radiation or just radiation.

I am numb. I thought this was over for me. That I would be one of the lucky ones who does the surgery and chemo and lives to be 80. I'm not sure how to feel yet. I guess after I see my oncologist on Monday I'll feel something. Probably pissed off. I just really don't want to do chemo again. I will, I just don't want to.

Love,
A Very Sad Erica

Biopsy of 2 lumps

Well, not much news to report. The lumps were removed today and sent of for pathology. My doctor was hoping to have the path report back by Friday, if not, then Monday. He said one looks pretty much like a lymph node and the other could be scar tissue.

My mastectomy surgeon dropped by to see me before the surgery today. She took a look and said that the skin pulled away from the lump which was odd. I said odd good or odd bad. She just said, odd. Usually recurrence will show up in the skin with a mastectomy patient because the tissue has been removed but that wasn't the case with me.

Oh well, I'm not going to get down about it. She said if it's back I will most likely do radiation this time, not chemo. I guess that's a positive:)

Thanks for the prayers again.

Love,
Erica

Not much News

I saw my surgeon today. He agreed the lumps have to come out and go to the lab. He says he's not worried about them but we have to be sure. Supposedly, it will be a quick surgery. They're not even putting me totally under, just sedation. It can't be any worse than what I've already been through.

The surgery is scheduled for next Wednesday, the 29th @ 10:30 am.

I'll update again after that.

Love,
E

No biopsy yet

They couldn't do the biopsy today since the lumps are right on top of my implant. They're 99% sure that they will rupture it so I have to go see my plastic surgeon on Monday to talk about doing surgery and remove them. Yippee, more anesthesia! That stuff is great for sleeping! The nurses are going to laugh when I walk in again...they all know me by name now.

The radiologist (yes, a real doctor) said that one of the lumps is definitely a lymph node that is swollen. That doesn't surprise me since I did have lymphodema on that side and it was acting up a little bit last week. She said the other one was smooth on the edges and very oval shaped which is good. Tumors are jagged on the edges and not any particular shape. She's calling it a granuloma, which is a cluster of cells and could simply be scar tissue. There are a million kinds of granulomas, as I've found out on my internet search, so don't waste your time googleing it. They'll take them out and send them off for pathology, hopefully next week. she also said that since I have a prior breast cancer that they have to biopsy it to make sure but if I hadn't had cancer that she'd be sending me on my way with an "A-OK". I'll update when I have a date.

I'm not counting the chickens yet but I feel a little better now.

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers, AGAIN! Hopefully some time soon I can stop sending out bad news!

Love,
Erica

Bad news

Ok, well maybe not bad yet.

I found 2 more lumps in the same spot as the original one this weekend. I went to my doctor to have them tel me I was a hypochondriac and it was nothing but that wasn't what they said.

I am going in Friday morning for a sonogram and biopsy to see what the hell it is. Unfortunately, I won't have the results back until Tuesday or Wednesday.

I'm driving myself nuts debating it in my head. "How could this happen, I had a double mastectomy to prevent this, why me, etc." I wish I could shut my brain off until they call.

I haven't told my grandparents yet so please don't if you talk to them or any of my great aunts who might see them.

I'll update again on Friday.

Love,
Erica

1st Haircut!!!!

I had my hair cut today for the first time since it started growing!
It's amazing how fast it came back. 3 1/2 months and it was a little unruly. My cut is really cute. A little pixie. It reminds me of Alyssa Milano's when she cut it really short a few years ago.

My friends here and I are doing the Susan G Komen 5k next weekend, the 18th, here in Dallas. It should be a lot of fun. We just decided on it this weekend, a little late, I know! The race originated here in Dallas and that is the one we are doing. There are like 20,000 people that do it! They have the survivors walk across the stage and wave to everyone. We wear T-shirts that say "survivor" on them. I'm a little nervous that I'll cry, but I'm sure I won't be the only one. Next year I hope to have a HUGE team of people with me including all my out of town family and friends. It will be a rockin' weekend at the Rasmusson's! I figure with a years notice you can start thinking about it. It will be an awesome tradition if we can pull it off.

Love to all!

Erica

2 days Post Surgery #3

Well, my back hurt quite a bit the first 2 days. My surgeon tightened up the muscle and tissue under the right side so it was pulling on my back again like when I had the expander fills. I was bleeding a little for those 2 days too which is odd since I've never had blood before? No biggie, I just take my little pain pills and muscle relaxers and I'm good. The beer I drank last night didn't hurt either!

I'm doing better today. I took it easy and napped all morning. Of course that means I won't sleep tonight; but oh well. The bleeding has stopped and the pain is almost gone. I haven't taken any pills today so that's a good sign.

Hopefully this will be the last surgery. I say hopefully because the one he fixed/replaced is making a squirty/burping sound when I move my right arm. It's actually pretty funny, Jason can hear it it's so loud! I'm going to check with my doctor tomorrow to make sure that's normal.

Oh well, just another hurdle in my race!

Take care.

Love, Erica

Final reconstruction surgery (hopefully)

My final phase of reconstruction is tomorrow afternoon at 1:00. I have to have the right one replaced and they'll be building some sticky-outy things for me. (I didn't want to make the guys too uncomfortable there)

Hopefully it will all be easy. It's just a day surgery, I'll be home tomorrow night.

No new news on the stomach thing. I stopped taking the new medicine and they doubled the antacid pill which seems to be working. If it comes back I'll go in for the colonoscopy and other scopes (fun, fun).

Back from Maine

Ok, it's been a week since we got back from Maine and I've finally caught up with everything.
The "heartburn" I thought was being caused by my new medicines wasn't actually heartburn. The medicines didn't have anything to do with it. I stopped taking all medication for 3 weeks while I was in Maine and I still had it 3-4 days a week

I saw my doctor this week and she sent me in for an immediate Upper GI scope (what fun). They said it's not an ulcer but may be Biliary disease or stones in my bile duct. I swear, I can't catch a break. Just when I think it's over, whammo, another thing. The doctor gave me some medicine that is helping, it's not totally gone but it's much better. He's checking my CT scans and blood tests to see if he sees anything internally. My blood test the other day showed that I was anemic, so they were worried that I was bleeding internally somwhere. Hopefully I'll get some results tomorrow.

Our trip to Maine was fun. The kids had a blast at the beach and doing fun things with my parents. My party was awesome. I can't believe how many people came by to see me! Thanks to everyone who came, I was so happy to see all of you. I'm just sorry I didn't get to spend more time talking to everyone because I was bouncing around talking to each new person that came in.

Hopefully we're coming back at Christmas so we'll get to see some of you again.

Update again soon!

Love,
Erica

New Hair and Femara

So...Like the new hair? I look like a little boy but it's better than being bald. I actually like it really short. I think I'll keep it that way. Not as short as it is now but not as long as it was before.

My new anti-cancer drug Femara is a blast so far. I've had horrible heartburn for 5 days. Nothing works. It comes and goes. I'm hoping maybe it will level off once the drug is fully in my system. I'm waiting for my doctor to call me back with any ways to control it.

In case you didn't get an evite from me...My get together when we're home is going to be August 30th at Riverside GC, 7-10 pm.
I didn't have everybody's email address, so I'm posting it on here too. Feel free to tell others about it. I'd love to see everyone that blogged, emailed, sent cards & flowers, called, etc. All your well wishes and prayers helped keep me going.

We'll be home a week from Tuesday, the 12th! I can't wait to leave the 105 temps that we're having here. It's way to HOT! 80 will feel cold after this.

See you soon!

Love,
Erica

Still CANCER FREE!!!!

YEAH!!!!! My scans all came back clear. No cancer in my body. My doctor put me on an Aromatase Inhibitor drug called Femara for the next 5 years. It blocks the receptors that feed cancer cells so they can't grow.

I feel good except for my whole body aching. My doctor said this was from my ovaries being removed. Having 0 estrogen production leaves your joints unlubricated so they hurt. She said that is only going to get worse since this drug removes any traces of Estrogen that my brain or glands might produce too. Yippee, I get to whine like an old lady at 36 about my body hurting. The good news is that it's only for a few years and then they can give me drugs to reverse it.

I'll let you know how they make me feel pretty soon. She said
to expect insomnia, hot flashes and achiness all of which I have now. They'll just get worse. Let the party begin!!!

Oh well, at least I'm alive. I'd rather be uncomfortable and be here than the alternative, right!

Love,E

First Post Chemo Scans`

I had my first CT and Bone scan today and my blood tests yesterday. I'll find out the results on Wednesday when I see my doctor again.

The barium crap they make you drink for the CT scan has made me so sick to my stomach. Nothing like running to the bathroom every 30 minutes!

When I post about my scans next week I'll put a new pic of GI Jane. I'm not wearing anything on my head anymore, just a crew cut. People actually think I cut it that way on purpose! They either say "why did you do that" or "it looks great". It's growing, that's all I care about.

We finally booked our trip to go home to Maine. We'll be there August 12th -Sept. 2nd. I'm planning on having a party on August 30th at Riverside GC's Bogeys. Anyone who reads this is welcome, please come visit and have a drink with me! I'll post times later after it's scheduled.

Until next week....

~Erica

Post-op 2 weeks

I saw my plastic surgeon today. He said I look good. I don't have any limitations except things that hurt, well duh. My OB/Gyn saw me last week and I'm good on that front too. Hotflashes are no fun, but I'm researching natural things that may help with those.

I'm trying to plan my trip home. It will be some time in August. I'll post again once I book our flights.

Overall, I feel really good. I'm thankful that this is all over for now. I have some cancer scans next week. I'll update after I get the results. That's a little scary, it makes me worry that it could come back. Normally I don't think about it. I guess I better get use to it. I have to be scanned every so often to make sure.

~Erica

Surgery #2 down

So, I had my boobs put in on Wednesday along with my ovaries removed.

Surprisingly, my chest doesn't hurt that much. It hurts when I wake up and whenever I try to get up, but other than that I don't notice it. Now, my right side where the ovaries were taken out is another story. It's very sore. My belly button is black and blue from the scope too. Nathan is just the right height and keeps running into me there.

I'm not taking too much of the pain meds. I'm more sore than in pain. Thankfully, my doctor was able to remove the ovaries through a small incision instead of a full C-section incision. This will make my revocery only 2 weeks instead of 10.

Ok, now everyone wants to know about the boobs. Well, I can't tell yet. They're smashed down under an ACE bandage and a sports bra. They look ok. I hope they'll pop out once the swelling goes down and bandages are off. I'll update later on how the "girls" are coming along.

My hair is growing in pretty fast. It's dark now, it was white at first. It's about 1/4-1/2 an inch long. It just needs to fill in. I look like a 30 something guy who's losing his hair. The bad thing is my remaining eyebrows & lashes are falling out. I thought I got away with keeping them since it's been 5 weeks since my last chemo. No such luck.

Oh well, life is good. I'll stop complaining now.

Love, E

Moving Accomplished

Ok, now I remember why it sucks to move. We started moving on Wednesday afternoon. It's Monday and we're still not unpacked all the way. I told Jason we're not moving again for at least 10 years.

Thankfully Jason's parents came and helped us Friday-Sunday and Angela and Amanat came on Saturday all day. You should see that girl move...she doesn't mess around! They were great, I don't know what this place would look like if they didn't all help us out.

Surgery day is Wednesday @ 11 a.m. I'll have Angela post for me that night and update everyone on what happened and how I am.

Talk to you soon.

Love, Erica

Countdown to Moving Day

Sorry, I've been lax in writing...I've been packing and doing PT for my arm. It's doing ok as long as I go a couple of times a week. Packing sucks. I feel like I'm spinning in circles not knowing what to pack next. Oh well, it'll get done.

My chemo friend,Susan,and I went to surprise another friend, Allison,on her last day of chemo this week. That was fun, she was very excited to see us. I brought her a cake which was funny because it was her birthday and we didn't know it. I'm glad we were there for her, she was too.

I probably won't post next week. I'm having my "boob switch", as I call it, on June 25th. I'll be in the hospital for a day and home on the 26th. I'll update as soon as I'm off the pain meds and can type. Lookout Hugh, here I come!

3 weeks post chemo

Well, I just thought I was done with all this shit. Nope, last chemo and NOW my eyes decide to do funky things. The day after I saw the doctor last week, my right eye became blurry and spotty. The only way I can describe it is, it's as if you're looking through a glass that has water spots dried on it. So, she sends me to an opthamologist and then off for a CT scan of my noggin. Looking for tumors, blood clots, good stuff. It all came back clear, of course. The blurriness is getting better and the spots are lighter so it's easier to see. She thinks it will just go away over time, that it's one last side effects for me. My arm swelling comes and goes. As long as I see the therapist twice a week it's ok. It hurts when I don't and it gets full of fluid.
I've actually got a 5:00 shadow going on my head. You probably can't tell from the painted head picture (my kids have no future in art!)it was too colorful. That was fun, letting them do that. It will be something to show them later in life if they ask about my cancer.
Well, we're in the middle of packing. We move June 19th, Holy Hell that's only 14 days away! It's getting there but it's a pain in the *** with the monkeys running around and wanting to go swimming every 5 minutes. Our pool water is 89 degrees. It's nice. Ok, my Ambien is kicking in so I better go to bed. Talk to you later! Love, Erica

1 week post LAST CHEMO

I had my labs today and surprise, surprise, no shots! My blood counts actually came up by themselves. They want to re-check me on Tuesday just to be sure. I saw the plastic surgeon yesterday and we're on for the 25th of June to replace the expanders. I'll be in the hospital for a day since my ovaries are coming out too. By taking them out my body won't produce Estrogen. Estrogen feeds Breast Cancer and it has a better chance to come back if you don't take them out. So, out you go...I'm done having kids so what the hell. The hotflashes are fun, but better than chemo again. Jason says the coroner, if I ever have an autopsy, will just laugh when he opens me up because there won't be anything in there. We're contracted on a house so all's good there too. I'll write again next week after I meet with the doc and find out my next plan of action. Love, Erica

I'm Done!

I made it through the weekend with minimal side effects this time. I was a little tired but for the most part I did what I wanted to. I only took a nap on Saturday instead of being in bed all day, that was an improvement. It's Monday morning and my stomach is upset, I hope I didn't catch the stomach bug that's foating around down here. I'll know in a little bit if it is! I'll write again on Thursday when I get my blood test and shots. I feel a little sluggish so I know I'll be getting them. Talk to you then! Love, Erica

FINAL CHEMO!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah!!! Today was my last chemo session. It was ok. I feel a little yucky and tired tonight. Hopefully after fluids tomorrow I'll be better. My chemo buddies were there so it was nice when I "graduated" from the chemo room. My friend Oti (O-T) came for an hour or so to keep me company while Jason picked up flowers for the office since they took such good care of me. They all hugged me and gave me a nice Miracles T-shirt. The receptionist was shaking pom-poms and yelling yeah! I cried when I left, they are all so sweet. It's not like I won't see them, I still have to go in once a week for a few more weeks, then every 3 months after that. I can't believe it's here. 6 treatments went by so fast, not that I'm complaining! I'm glad that I'm finished and I hope and pray that God is listenting to me to make sure it's gone forever. I'll update again over the weekend. Love, Erica

Week 3 post Chemo 5

Sorry I haven't written in 2 weeks! We sold our house and need to move in 4 weeks. We don't have a new house to move to yet so you can see why I haven't had time to write! We put an offer on one yesterday, so hopefully we'll have a contract tomorrow. I'm freaking out a little since Chemo is this Thursday and if this contract doesn't work out we're back to square one. I know, what the hell were we thinking trying to sell our house during Chemo? Well, I never really thought it would sell for what we were asking. Carma is a funny thing...yup, along comes a couple from Colorado and boom, bye bye house. Oh well, maybe it will be good for me to move and start a brand new life post Cancer in a new home. I'm a little sad to leave, we really love our neighbors, they're like family, I wish we could take them with us. We'll still be close so we can visit, so it's ok. I'll write again later in the week after Chemo 6 THE LAST ONE!!!!! Love, Erica

1 week post Chemo 5

Well, even though I feel good my counts were low again so I had to get a red and white cell shot yesterday. Thankfully, those helped me get over the mild fatigue hump that I had. Today I worked outside trimming trees with Will while Nathan napped. It was beautiful, 78 degrees and not a cloud in the sky. The kids went swimming for a bit. I'll hopefully continue to improve over the next week and I see my doctor on Thursday. 5 down, 1 to go, THANK GOD! Although, I'm starting to experience Chemo safety withdrawal. As long as I'm on Chemo there's no cancer, I'm nervous about stopping and it coming back. As long as I think positive thoughts and pray to God every night like I do, I'll be ok. Feel free to yell at me to be positive. Talk to you soon. Love, Erica

Sunday after Chemo 5

Well, I felt better today than I have after the last few chemos. Thursday and Friday weren't so great, I was nauseated both days and just wanted to puke. Yesterday was the sore body day, although, not as sore as usual. It was also my birthday so I had a wonderful time in bed all day! Jason and the boys brought me roses and put them on my dresser for me to look at. Will was too sweet, wishing me Happy Birthday every 5 minutes. Today I woke up with a rockin' headache, took some advil and went back to bed until noon. Then I slept off and on all day. I feel pretty good right now other than still being tired. The next few days will be better and better. Thanks for the thoughts and prayers, they're working. Love, Erica

5th Chemo

Well, I had my 5th treatment today. I'm a little nauseated and tired. I was hopped up on steroids last night so I didn't fall asleep until about 4:30 a.m. I'm going to go lay down and rest for a while. My neighbor made us dinner, she's so sweet. This weekend ought to be a blast. Saturday was my bad day last time and this Saturday is my birthday, woohoo paaarty in my bed, and not the good kind! Oh well, I'll have to go out next weekend. The big 3-6, I'm officially late 30's now, how depressing. I can still remember our crazy 20's, partying all the time, it seems like yesterday even though it was 10+ years ago. Oh well, as long as we still feel young then we are young! I'm beating this crap and I will PARTY again! I'll update again on Sunday. Love y'all! (ha,ha) Erica

Week 3 post 4th Chemo

I saw the Doctor today. All my blood counts were up very high. She was very happy. Chemo is next Thursday again and then only 1 more! Praise God! Therapy is going well, the swelling is going away. Overall, I'm feeling good. This weekend will be in the low 80's so I'll be outside tanning my "chrome dome" as Jason calls it. I bought a new bikini last weekend. It looks good but funny with the bald head. Oh well, I'll look GREAT when body overhaul is finished! I probably won't upate again until Chemo day. Not much to report when I feel good. Thanks for writing to me again! I miss everyone. I can't wait to see you in August when I come home. Love, Erica

One week after 4th Chemo

I've been doing pretty well since about Tuesday. I had my bloodwork done today and, as usual, my white and red blood counts were down. I surprisingly felt ok? They gave me one of each shot and by late afternoon I felt even better. I played outside with the boys after school. If they had it their way, they'd never come inside. I have my first Lymphodema session tomorrow. Hopefully that will be resolved quickly. (My arm started to swell/retain fluid due to lymph nodes being removed on my left side) I'll update again soon. Love, Erica

P.S. Where'd everyone go? I miss hearing from you.

4th Chemo weekend

Well, my first chemo without mom went ok. Jason's sister Kristi came up with her husband Rich for the weekend to help out. Jason's mom made dinner last night and Will went to Jason's Aunt Sharon's Friday and 1/2 of Saturday. I'm doing well. My achy body thing happened yesterday instead of today. I'm just tired and a little nauseated today. More fluids tomorrow should help me out. I'll get another shot or 2 on Thursday and then I'll feel good next weekend. My dad cut his arm open on a table saw and had surgery Saturday. He's ok, but he could use a prayer or two to help him heal faster and get on the golf course! I just sent Jason to the ER with Nathan who has a 103 fever. I think it's an ear infection. It's a neverending party around here! Anywho, I'm hanging in there, I'll update again in a few days. Love, Erica

4th Chemo 4/3/08

Chemo went ok. It was actually fun today. My Chemo buddies Allison and Susan were there today. Allison is also 35 and Susan is 50 but very young acting. We laughed about our rock hard boobs and had a good old time. Allison is my age, her husbands name is Jason, her son's name is Nathan and her 2 kids are 5 & 2, a year older than mine; how wierd, huh? Jason & I picked up the kids when I was done. Then I came home, made dinner, gave the kids baths and still feel good. I'll start to get tired pretty soon. I have fluids and my achy shot tomorrow. Not much else to report. I'll write again on Sunday. Love, Erica

Quick update 4/2/08

Sorry I haven't updated. I've been great for 2 weeks and taking every opportunity to do things before tomorrow (chemo). Last week i ended up seeing a Physical Therapist for Lymphodema. That is a side effect of the mastectomy from having Lymph nodes removed. My right arm was retaining fluid and is a little swollen. I have to see a therapist to do manual drainage and exercises. I also get to wear a lovely skin toned compression sleeve that extends from my armpit to my wrist to keep the swelling down. As long as I baby my arm it should go away and hopefully not return. It's just something that people have to deal with when there are lymph nodes taken out. I'll update this weekend on how Chemo went. 4 down, 2 to go! Love, Erica

I feel GREAT!

I can't believe it but I actually feel like I've never had Chemo before! I cleaned my house like a crazy person today, it felt great (and I hate to clean). I think, as my mom put it, I took her going back home to make me feel better. No, not being mean, but I have to get up and get moving and not lay around all day while she did everything. It made me finally get my energy back. Well, until next Thursday when I have Chemo again anyway. I just thought I'd put some positive info on here. Prayers are working!!! Thanks!!! Love, Erica

Monday after 3rd treatment

Yesterday was yucky, my body hurt so bad to touch. Will tried to hug me and it was agony. I was in bed all day. It's better today thank God. I had fluids again this morning which helps me out a lot. My appetite is good even though some things taste funny and leave a nasty aftertaste in my mouth. It goes away about a week after chemo. I then revert to eating like a pig since I eat chicken soup for 5 days straight. It's all I really want the week of chemo, chicken soup and grilled cheese. It's like having the flu. Anyway, I'm a little tired still. I fell asleep watching Scooby Doo with Will last night. I'm yawning trying to get this out right now. I'll up date again in a day or so. Talk to you soon! Love, Erica

3rd Chemo Treatment 3/13/08

I had my 3rd treatment yesterday. It went well. I went in for fluids and my white cell shot this morning. I've felt good, even laid in the sun for a bit while the kids played. I'm trying to tan my WHITE head! Tomorrow and Sunday should be my down days. I'll be tired and the sore body thing will start again. More fluids on Monday and Thursday if I need them. Everyone here but mom is on a Z-pack for upper respiratory infections, fun fun. I swear, I'm moving into a bubble! I'll update again soon. Love to all, Erica

Great Day

Today was a lot of fun. I Got the boobs filled up again, they don't hurt as much this time. I will, however, be glad when these rocks are out! I scheduled my implant surgery for June 25th, yahoo! Then mom & I took the boys to the Dallas Arboretum. It's a beautiful botanical garden that I take pictures at every year around Easter. Since Chemo is tomorrow, I rushed out today so I wouldn't miss the tulips. The kids cooporated a little, as much to be expected. I'll rotate some pictures this week in the top spot where the 3 of us are now. That's going to be my new spot for rotating photos, the ones on the right will remain the same. I'll update some time this weekend with how round 3 goes (I'm trying Laura; ha,ha). Love, Erica

Another week down

Well, I was doing well until my little germ carriers brought home the stomach bug last week. Of course I got it and have been sick to my stomach all week and I still am. Will's over it and I think Nathan is about to be. With my low immune system it's just lingering. I feel hungover, that yucky I don't want to even think about food feeling. I was dizzy and really sick at first but I'm doing better. Hopefully it will dissapear before Chemo next Thursday. Thanks again for the thoughts and prayers. Love to all~Erica

2nd Chemo Treatment 2/21/08

Sorry, it's Monday and I haven't updated yet. Chemo was Thursday. It went better this time. I went back in Friday for fluids and shots. I was tired and a little nauseated Saturday and Sunday but much better than last time. I had more fluids today but escaped the shots since my blood counts were good. I felt pretty bad this morning but was up and outside this afternoon after the fluids. Hopefully, I'll feel better and better over the next few days. Thankfully the doctor changed my dose a little and is making me have fluids more than before. I'm so happy that I'm not exhausted and sick like I was last time. It makes me actually think there is a light at the end of the tunnel. The rest of my stubble is coming out. I should be a full blown cue ball soon. It's so white! I never dreamed my head was so white since I'm Italian. I suppose it'll be tan in a few weeks. It was actually 88 degrees here today, but 57 tomorrow, back to 70's this weekend. I know, all you Mainers hate me right now... how about a little more snow! ~Erica

So I Shaved My Head......

Well, Jason shaved it for me. I called Angela and her husband Amanat to come help and offer moral support. I had the kids hairdresser cut it super short on Friday because it was falling out really badly. By Saturday it was coming out in handfulls. I drew the line when Nathan crawled up to me and had my hair stuck all over his face! I was shedding like a German Shepherd. I told Jason, "just shave it off, I can't take it anymore". I cried for a minute and then we had fun with it. First the punk rocker look, then the mohawk, then off with the rest. I actually like the bandanas and hats more than the wig, they're more comfortable . I think I'll only wear the wig when I have to. Nathan doesn't notice except to pull off my hat and Will just asked if I get to wear my "New Hair"now. I'm cool with it. I think it looks ok. Chemo again this Thursday, we'll update sometime this weekend. ~Erica

Good Weekend

Thankfully, no appendicitis and I guess my blood cells are better because I finally feel better. It was great to have Christina and Sam here this weekend. Will had a blast playing outside. Thanks to all the friends that helped Christina in her "Hat Drive"! That was awesome! Christina collected about 20 hats for me from friends back home, they're adorable. It was something I was going to do on my own and now I'm all set. Thanks for all the kind thoughts, I needed them last week. Love, Erica

Good Day

Erica looked really good today. She was moving around, laughing and even ate pizza. She's enjoying her beautiful weekend here (in 70's) with her bff Christina that flew in from Maine with her 5 year old son Sam. aa

Going Home

Erica's surgeon looked at all the scans and decided it wasn't inflamed and she didn't have any other signs of her appendix needing to be removed right away. She gets to go home!!!!!! She's tired and had a migrane but other than that was feeling okay. Angela

Low White Blood Cells and Appendix

Today Erica had her blood work done and it was a little low on white blood cells so they gave her an injection to help her body build the white blood cells back which is what causes the achy bones. She also got a bag of fluid and antibotics. She was having a little trouble breathing so they did a cat scan for blood clots. That all came back normal but they saw her appendix a little swollen. She is now doing further tests on her appendix to see if it's just an infection she can take antibotics for or if she will need surgery. Which means waiting until they bring her white blood count back up. We should find out tonight. She's doing okay and not in a lot of pain. Just of course hates having to go thru anything else. Angela

Chemo sucks!

Ok, I sincerely hope that none of you reading this ever have to go through Chemo. The first day was a blur, 4 hrs there, then home and I slept until Friday. I had to go in for a shot on Friday to boost my White blood cells but when I got there I was so nauseated and pale that they gave me IV fluids and more nausea meds. Thankfully, the nausea went away but I sleep all the time. I'm so exausted from the Chemo killing off my blood cells that I can hardly stay awake. Not to mention the shot makes every inch of my body ache because it is forcing it to rapidly make new blood cells. It hurts just laying down. On the plus side, these are only suppose to last for 7 days and then I have 14 glorious normal days until it starts over again. I just have to keep thinking, "only 5 more times and I'm done." ~Erica

Chemo Treatment #1

Erica made it through her first 4 hour chemo session today. She came home light headed and had a little nausea. They put 4 different anti-nausea meds in her IV during the treatment and she had her percriptions at home for nausea along with a list of others. It was so hard seeing her not being her spunky self. She'll need the most spirit lifting words from loved ones during this phase of treatment. They said her side effects will start in 24 hours and last about a week. Keep her in your prayers and keep the comments coming on her blog. Phone calls and cards are welcomed as well. Angela

Thanks for Everything!

I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for the loving support and words of encouragement. I'm going to start posting over here now so that my posts get saved too. I'm feeling better about the Chemo, well, until tomorrow...hopefully I'll sail through without any issues. I get my first inflation today so I'll update this weekend on how that went and how the Chemo experience was. Love, Erica

Erica's Past Week

The last week has been improving some but still has different types of pain as the nerves and muscles are trying to heal. She is just taking it easy and still confined to the bed other than coming to the table for meals and sitting up in the living room short periods of time. I spent all day with her today. Company is what she needs the most so feel free to call her. Angela

Look At Right Corner

Check out the right hand corner for Erica's personal updates from time to time, if there isn't anything on the blog part that's why. She's still being a trooper and still has that spunk.

1st Post Op Appt

Today Erica met with her oncologist and everything looked good. She is just ordered to rest more after over doing it a bit yesterday. For sure she will have 6 Sessions of Chemo which is about 4 1/2 months long. She meets with her Plastic Surgeon on Wednesday and will hopefully be able to take out the drains they left in. Everyone else is holding up well and just wants her to heal. Angela

2nd Day at Home

I saw Erica this afternoon. She looks really good, sitting up in bed and was watching a movie. The hardest part now is just letting everyone take over with the boys and staying in bed. I know she's getting bored. By the end of the visit it was time for another pain pill and in about 30 mins she was ready for her nap. She slept all night last night. She has her first post op appt. on Monday afternoon. Her mom and sister are doing such an awesome job taking over. She is truly blessed to have them both by her side.

Erica's Evening

Erica is doing great. She said the pain is still there but mostly really sore, not too unbearable. She said she's really happy with the incisions and the doctors. She still sleeps a lot with the pain meds right now. But the most important news..... they called this afternoon to let her know the lympnodes came back negative after the extensive testing. Thank God! She is such a trooper and pushing straight forward.

Erica is Home

Erica got released from the hospital today and is happy to be going home. Still has awhile till she's up to speed but nothing is like being home. Angela

Erica Last Night

Erica called me briefly last night while waiting for Jason to bring back her dinner. She said it does hurt but she still is sleeping majority of the time. Just keeping the morphine button close at hand. I was just in shock she could have the energy and strength to call. Just once again confirms the power in her and the power of all our prayers. Love Angela

Out of Surgery

It's 11:29 CentralST and she is out of surgery! Both doctors said everything went as planned!! Erica is doing good still sleeping and relaxed. I'll give an update this evening. Angela

Update on Surgery

I'm so excited to let everyone know both lympnodes they removed for testing came back negative in surgery. They will still have a more extensive pathology report done on them and back in a few days. But all is going smoothly. The plastic surgeon has just begun the reconstruction phase at this time. I will update again today on how Erica is doing once she wakes up. She's still looking at a painful recovery but I know she will be so relieved all was negative in surgery. All the prayers are paying off!!!!!!!! Love Angela

This is for my wonderful friend that I know would give her all to anyone that was in her position. I know she is on everyone's mind and I hope this will help ease worries and questions thru her journey of recovery. We all know how strong she is as a mother, friend, wife, daughter, sister, and just as a person. I know she will make this battle look like a piece of cake. Love Angela