It's Baaaack!

I can't even believe that I am writing this right now. My surgeon called and there are cancer cells in the scar tissue that he removed yesterday. I am going in tomorrow morning to have more tissue removed. Then I see my oncologist Monday morning to go over whether I have chemo again, chemo & radiation or just radiation.

I am numb. I thought this was over for me. That I would be one of the lucky ones who does the surgery and chemo and lives to be 80. I'm not sure how to feel yet. I guess after I see my oncologist on Monday I'll feel something. Probably pissed off. I just really don't want to do chemo again. I will, I just don't want to.

Love,
A Very Sad Erica

Biopsy of 2 lumps

Well, not much news to report. The lumps were removed today and sent of for pathology. My doctor was hoping to have the path report back by Friday, if not, then Monday. He said one looks pretty much like a lymph node and the other could be scar tissue.

My mastectomy surgeon dropped by to see me before the surgery today. She took a look and said that the skin pulled away from the lump which was odd. I said odd good or odd bad. She just said, odd. Usually recurrence will show up in the skin with a mastectomy patient because the tissue has been removed but that wasn't the case with me.

Oh well, I'm not going to get down about it. She said if it's back I will most likely do radiation this time, not chemo. I guess that's a positive:)

Thanks for the prayers again.

Love,
Erica

Not much News

I saw my surgeon today. He agreed the lumps have to come out and go to the lab. He says he's not worried about them but we have to be sure. Supposedly, it will be a quick surgery. They're not even putting me totally under, just sedation. It can't be any worse than what I've already been through.

The surgery is scheduled for next Wednesday, the 29th @ 10:30 am.

I'll update again after that.

Love,
E

No biopsy yet

They couldn't do the biopsy today since the lumps are right on top of my implant. They're 99% sure that they will rupture it so I have to go see my plastic surgeon on Monday to talk about doing surgery and remove them. Yippee, more anesthesia! That stuff is great for sleeping! The nurses are going to laugh when I walk in again...they all know me by name now.

The radiologist (yes, a real doctor) said that one of the lumps is definitely a lymph node that is swollen. That doesn't surprise me since I did have lymphodema on that side and it was acting up a little bit last week. She said the other one was smooth on the edges and very oval shaped which is good. Tumors are jagged on the edges and not any particular shape. She's calling it a granuloma, which is a cluster of cells and could simply be scar tissue. There are a million kinds of granulomas, as I've found out on my internet search, so don't waste your time googleing it. They'll take them out and send them off for pathology, hopefully next week. she also said that since I have a prior breast cancer that they have to biopsy it to make sure but if I hadn't had cancer that she'd be sending me on my way with an "A-OK". I'll update when I have a date.

I'm not counting the chickens yet but I feel a little better now.

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers, AGAIN! Hopefully some time soon I can stop sending out bad news!

Love,
Erica

Bad news

Ok, well maybe not bad yet.

I found 2 more lumps in the same spot as the original one this weekend. I went to my doctor to have them tel me I was a hypochondriac and it was nothing but that wasn't what they said.

I am going in Friday morning for a sonogram and biopsy to see what the hell it is. Unfortunately, I won't have the results back until Tuesday or Wednesday.

I'm driving myself nuts debating it in my head. "How could this happen, I had a double mastectomy to prevent this, why me, etc." I wish I could shut my brain off until they call.

I haven't told my grandparents yet so please don't if you talk to them or any of my great aunts who might see them.

I'll update again on Friday.

Love,
Erica

1st Haircut!!!!

I had my hair cut today for the first time since it started growing!
It's amazing how fast it came back. 3 1/2 months and it was a little unruly. My cut is really cute. A little pixie. It reminds me of Alyssa Milano's when she cut it really short a few years ago.

My friends here and I are doing the Susan G Komen 5k next weekend, the 18th, here in Dallas. It should be a lot of fun. We just decided on it this weekend, a little late, I know! The race originated here in Dallas and that is the one we are doing. There are like 20,000 people that do it! They have the survivors walk across the stage and wave to everyone. We wear T-shirts that say "survivor" on them. I'm a little nervous that I'll cry, but I'm sure I won't be the only one. Next year I hope to have a HUGE team of people with me including all my out of town family and friends. It will be a rockin' weekend at the Rasmusson's! I figure with a years notice you can start thinking about it. It will be an awesome tradition if we can pull it off.

Love to all!

Erica