December 2010

Jason reminded me that this week is 3 yrs since my diagnosis, December 18th. What an insane ride it's been. Thankfully, I'm cancer free for my 2nd Christmas in a row!

I had surgery 2 weeks ago to have 2 more lumps removed from my right side. They were both benign, thank God. I also had my reconstruction fixed again. The left implant started to slip so I had stitches put in my pec muscle to hold it up. That was sore for a few weeks but I'm good now.

I'm looking forward to a Maine Christmas this year. It's been 5 years since we've had one. Between winter babies and cancer, I've been in Texas for the past 5 Christmases. I'm praying for a little snow since there isn't any right now, a white Christmas will make my holiday!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Love,
E

Bras for a Cause

I just wanted to tell everyone about the most amazing, fun and heartwarming fundraiser that I've been a part of yet. It's called Bras for a Cause. My co-worker and friend, Emily, started it last year because her mom & grandma had breast cancer. I joined the committee in August and we just had the event on October 20th. We got sponsors who decorated a bra and entered them into a live, runway auction. The bras were modeled by shirtless local firemen, who were pretty cute! They shook their stuff and we had an auctioneer going to town to sell these bras. One went for over $2,000! It was so much fun and I am so glad that I was a part of it. Right before the auction started, they played a video that was filmed weeks before of survivors and friends & family of breast cancer patients. I was one of them. It was very moving to see myself talking about it on a 20 ft tall screen. You can see pictures of the event at proofs.coburnphotography.com. Thanks everyone, it was the best fudnraiser ever, I can't wait until next year!

Another Scare 10/2010

So, here we go again. Another October, another scare. I went for my 3 month checkup and my oncologist felt a bump on my right side. She thought it was scar tissue or a wrinkle in my implant but she wanted me to see my plastic surgeon to be sure. So, I got in to see him that same afternoon and got the same reaction, "I think it's the implant or scar tissue". "I think" is not ok in my book anymore. He wanted to see me again in 6 weeks, so I said ok. That was Wednesday, by Monday, I had an ultrasound scheduled because it was driving me nuts wondering and worrying. The ultrasound showed no mass but she said U/S is only 40% accurate so I needed an MRI. Off we go to the imaging center for the MRI a week later. That is so fun, laying on your face with your boobs in a box with 2 holes cut out for an hour! So uncomfortable. I drug myself with Ativan (like Xanax but stronger) before I go since I'm claustrophobic. The next day the results were in, no signs of mailgnancy. Phew, dodged another bullet! SO VERY SICK OF OCTOBERS!
Love, E

All clear again

Hey everyone,

My scans and chekcup last week were all negative again. That means I made it a whole year past treatment without anything coming back; well, other than the benign scare in March.

My doctor even talked about us discussing long term monitoring on my next appointment, instead of every 3 months. I think I'll start going in every 6 months then on to a year.

I'm so happy thay my port is out, the scar tissue from the radiation was removed in May, and my scans were clear. I'm working out a lot and trying to eat right. I feel better than I have in 2 years. It's amazing!

I can only hope and pray that I'll be one of the lucky ones that makes it well past the 5 yr mark. I am still terrified that something will strike again within the next 3 yrs. I am also very mindful to check often and I always get my checkups.

Well, off to my 20th Reunion in Maine. We'll be with my family for 3 weeks. The boys are soooo excited. It will be nice to hang out at the beach and just be outside.

Love to everyone!
~Erica

I HATE Cancer!

Ok, so I go in for my 6 month mammogram and ultrasound yesterday. I get these every 6 months even though I supposedly have no breast tissue left, due to the recurrence I had. My doctor ordered the left one to be checked but the radiologist said, "what the heck, lets check the right one too since you're here."

So first swipe of the ultrasound thingy and a big blob shows up. I just about lept off the table. It looked exactly like the other two tumors. I immediately started tearing up thinking, "Oh my God, not again!" The radiologist didn't look happy either. She said "was that there before?" I said "no". She looked at the old films and sure enough, no it hadn't. I said "how big is it?" She measured and it is 7cm long. To put that in perspective, my other 2 were 2 cm. 3 times as big!

She was as nervous as I was. It's funny, these doctors all know me personally now. Even the surgical nurses at the hospital know me by name, pathetic really. Anyway, she went and checked the schedule for the afternoon to see if she could squeeze me in for a biopsy instead of make me wait until next week. Thankfully she could.

I went back at 1:30 and they got me right back. It was the usual, numb it and pull out 4-5 pieces of the tumor. She tried to aspirate it (suck out fluid) but there wasn't any, another bad sign. If there was fluid it was probably a cyst. So, I was sent on my way with a positive thought from the doctor, "you're due for some good luck, I hope it's negative." They said to call around 3pm today and they would hopefully have the results for me to bring to my oncologist tomorrow @ 10am.

Well, after all we've been through in 2 yrs, I was feeling quite the opposite. I have completely convinced myself that it's back. I've already called my surgeons and put them on alert that we'd be going back in next week and was determining what treatment I would be doing. Jason tried the "let's be positive, we don't know anything yet" routine but I said, "whatever, every time we say that it comes back Cancer!...No, it's back and here's what we'll do."

All afternoon after I left work I was having chest pains, pain in my left arm and felt like throwing up. I was having an anxiety attack. I have never felt like this before. Not even with the first two cancers. I couldn't wait any longer.

It was 3:15 so I decided to call. The nurse came on and said she had just received the path report. She read me the findings, "Benign fibrovasular adipose tissue". I said, "did you just say Benign?" She said "yes, it's not cancer". I literally started to hyperventilate and cry. Dear Lord, it's not Cancer! I would have just said thanks and hung up if she had said it was cancer because I was prepared for that. But NOT Cancer threw me for a loop. I called Jason and he did the same thing..."NOT cancer, benign?" and began to cry. Which wasn't nice of me since he was on the phone with a client...oops. Poor Will caught me right after I hung up with Jason and I was balling. He's yelling "mommy what's wrong, why are you crying?" I just told him "mommy's happy". He thinks I'm flippin' crazy when I cry because I'm happy, it's funny.

After I hung up I lost the urge to throw up and decided I needed to burn off some energy. I threw the kids in the car and went to the gym. After an hour I felt so much better and got really hungry. Jason called and wanted to go celebrate so we went to dinner with the kids.

So, I HATE Cancer. It never leaves. Just when I think I'm done with it and it doesn't enter my mind for a while, BAMM, it hits you upside the head again! It's never gone, never, never. Every ache, every pain, everything that goes wrong with my body, "is it cancer, is it back?" I try so hard not to think that way but it's days like these that bring it all back.

Love to all,
Erica